Sunday, 18 February 2007

Tips for Coping With Marriage Problems

If you're married, you've probably had marriage problems. Don't feel alone, because working out problems is a step that often takes years. It's not the people who don't have problems who have good marriages; it's who learn ways to cope with those problems and beat them. Whether this is done with a marriage counselor or alone as a couple, the people who deal with their issues correctly are the ones who will stay together the longest.

First and foremost, learn how to listen. This is a simple, easy step that seems hard until you actually do it. Listening can be one of the best things for you and your spouse if you're having marriage problems.

Remember that even if you don't agree with a word they're saying, it is how they feel; thus it is valid and important. Learn to use 'I' statements and accept that you may be hurt and even angered by your spouse's words. However, once you've identified problems, you can start to fix them, and you can only do that by listening and talking to each other.

Nip the little problems in the bud and learn how to let things go. If your spouse isn't doing what you want them to do, like a household chore, sit them down and tell them why it's important to you. Don't nag and yell, because this will only make them shut you off and tune you out.

Make sure you take time out for each other at some point during the week. Make it a date night. Take one night, any night, or even day, and spend it doing something nice with your spouse. From a fancy dinner to a day exploring your city to a quiet picnic in the park, find new things to try with your souse to keep it from getting mundane or boring.

Send the kids off to a friend's house and spend a quiet evening at home, even if all you do is order a pizza, talk and watch a movie. This is often taken for granted, but it can become a breath of fresh air in your otherwise busy life and you'll look forward to your sessions together. Make these times solely for enjoyment and leave any problems at the door for another day. Just be with your partner and enjoy their company.

Last but not least, don't be afraid to get help. Creating a solid marriage takes work, and sometimes it helps to have a professional, unbiased ear to relate your problems. This can be a great way to get to the root of deep-set problems and bring them into the open where they can be dealt with.

If you're having marriage problems please visit

Author: Kausik Dutta
Article source: Used with author's permission.

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